Sex addiction is largely seen in our society as either a joke, a way to excuse bad behavior, or something developed by prudes who are fearful of sex.
True sex addiction isn't any of those things. And, just because your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband likes porn, has ever cheated in the past, or likes to have orgasms frequently, it doesn't make them a sex addict.
At the same time, just ignoring the possibility of your partner having a sex addiction, or minimizing their behavior doesn't make them not a sex addict.
If you have questions about sex addiction,
you are pretty normal. Today I want to help define sex addiction, and you can also take a quick quiz to see if your partner might need help overcoming a sex addiction.
What is sex addiction?
Sex addiction in the simplest language is using sex and sexual outlets in a way that hurts yourself and others. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, a way to connect with others, something to feel good about after you do it.
While many people may make sexual decisions that they later regret, someone with a sexual addiction feels compelled to repeat this cycle over and over again. People who are truly struggling with sexual addiction have been trying to overcome it for years, feel an incredible amount of shame, and will do anything they can to keep it from coming to the surface.
Hiding Sex Addiction
There are many ways people will try to hide sexual addiction. While the most common form may be in cheating, sneaking, or blatant lying, there are other ways to hide the addiction. Attempting to involve the partner in the problematic cycle, blaming the partner's concerns or objections on the partner, etc.
While one couple exploring polyamorous relationships may be doing so in a way that is honest and balanced. Other couples, one partner is pushing movement into the lifestyle as a way to hide, or overcome their deeper issues. Unfortunately, simply involving additional people in your relationship won't resolve the sexual addiction.
Sexual addiction escalates over time. The behavior gets more frequent and compulsive over time. And as this happens, the person experiencing sexual addiction feels more and more shame.
Many partners with sex addicts feel like they are going crazy. Their gut and intuition tell them that something more dangerous is happening, but the struggling partner minimizes, denies, and blames the behavior on the concerned partner.
Is your partner a sex addict?
The first step in determining that is answering just 5 simple questions. Whether your partner is or isn't a sex addict- you are reading this for a reason. If I can help, let me know. Take the Is my Partner a Sex Addict quiz, get your results, and explore what they mean.